Tomorrow

Tomorrow I get to see my baby again.  I'm excited and nervous all at the same time.  I nervous that 1) they will tell me she is a he.  Which is ok, but I've already worked so hard on the room.  And 2) that something is wrong with her.  I had a pretty scary dream last night that she wasn't ok.  I remember getting some type of blood vessel scan, and lead levels, and I was given all these pamphlets on how to raise a severely handicapped child. 

I was never so happy for the alarm to go off this morning. That dream followed the dream where I left her unattended on my desk at work and she rolled off and hurt her neck.  She did not die, but she was severely handicapped.  I think my job is getting into my dreams. 

But, I'm mostly excited.  Its been 8 weeks since we've seen her.  JJ will get to be there to see her "in person" for the first time.  He has talked about this all week.  I'm hoping she cooperates.  I know we will get to see something, but I just want it to be the best experience it can be.  I'll drink something sweet beforehand to get her going (although that proved unreliable the other day). 

We get 30 whole minutes with the ultrasound.  I can't wait to see fingers and toes.  To see her face, and nose.  Maybe some hair.  I want to know how she is laying.  (I have an idea, but I want some reassurance that I'm correct).  We should get a bunch of photos to take home with us.  I'll proudly show them off as soon as I can.

Hopefully tonight I can think happy things and have an exciting day tomorrow.