Say what? Huh?

Can you speak up, I can't hear you?

I'm still in ear hell.  The week of antibiotics and steroids has ended.  It still feels like there is a swimming pool behind my ear.  Also now there is a loud constant ring.  And.... I can't hear jack squat out of it.  So I'm constantly asking people to repeat themselves.  Which just frustrates me!  If I lay on my left side at night, I am completely deaf to Gene's snoring and Abby's crying.  I guess that's a good thing, but its really freaky how different the hearing between the two ears is.

I don't go back to the ENT till next Thursday.  I'm pretty sure a tube is in my future.  I kinda wish we would have done it last week and gotten it over with.  I was going to ask about that, but the doctor never came back.  The nurse brought me the script and shuttled me on my way.  I just went with it.  I should have known better.  But I guess the conservative approach is always what's best to do. 

My milk has tanked because of all this.  Not like my milk was good before hand.  I'm not pumping much at all.  I noticed this weekend Abby seemed to be snacking more.  I wondered if she was intentionally doing it or there just wasn't enough for her to continue.  I gave her a bottle and she drank the whole thing up.  I guess she just didn't have enough.  :(  I've been so bad with my fluid intake.  I know that's not helping either.  Ahhhh.....

It might be time to think about weaning.  Or daytime weaning.  She's back to getting up once a night now.  I still love to nurse at night.  I'm not ready to give that up. I guess its time to research the next step. 

It's baaaaaacccccccck!

I went to the minute clinic this morning with an extremely painful ear.  One look and the nurse practitioner said, Bless You Child!  It's that bad. 

I don't think it ever cleared up from the last time.  I never did regain full hearing.  I just assumed to would come back eventually.  I had some serious crackling going on in there this weekend, but I ignored it.  Last night I couldn't sleep because I was in so much pain.  I debated just going to the minute clinic after work, but it hurt too much.  There was no way I could make it through the day.

My right ear is terribly infected.  (The words of the NP).  I now have a different antibiotic and some drops.  I also have some flonase to help clear the nasal passages.  Immediately upon getting to work I called and ENT and set up an appointment.  They had a cancellation for tomorrow morning, so I took it.  As least they can see it in a healing/raw state. 

So far I don't feel much relief, but I know it takes time. I'm hoping the ENT can tell me whats going on tomorrow.  I don't want this to be reoccurring.  I want it to go away. 

Please

Mad as fire

Abby is sick, again.  It started Monday with a little cough.  I thought it might just be allergies, if infants can even have those.  When she would cough, her eyes would water, but her nose wasn't runny or stuffy.  The cough was dry and there was no other respiratory problems.  Wednesday she felt a little warm, but she was still fine.  She started get stuffy. 

Yesterday when I picked her up at daycare, she looked pitiful.  She was hot, and tired.  She didn't smile when she saw me, she just burried her head into my shoulder.  She screamed when I put her down into the car seat.  So I stayed a while and held her.

Her temp at home was 100.4.  I gave her some Tylenol and we snuggled into the chair.  She slept on and off during the evening.  She didn't like it at all when I put her down, she would immediately wake up.  She did eat, so I felt good about that.

Around 9, I put her in her bed for the night.  Hoping for the best, but knowing it was going to be a long one.  She woke up around 11 and was inconsolable.  So I fed her, and that helped.  She woke up again at 2.  Again, inconsolable, so I fed her.  She was up again at 3.  I didn't think she was hungry so I tried everything else.  I could smell she was wet, so I decided to do a middle of the night change.  And now I remember why I don't do those anymore.  She screamed bloody murder.  I have never seen her so mad.  I worked as fast as I could, even stopping in the middle to hug her but it only made it worse.  As soon as it was over I scooped her up and we both cried. 

After 10 minutes of pacing around the bedroom, she finally settled a little, but was still whimpering.  So I fed her again.  And she ate and fell asleep.  She slept until it was time for me to get up.  She had several coughing fits, so I propped her up in the boppy in the bed with Gene while I got ready. 

Her temp was still up at 100 this morning.  She gets to spend the day with Dad.  At least until I can get there. Hopefully she will start to feel better.  She looked a little perkier this morning. She was content with JJ playing with her.

I treated myself to a grande, full caff, Starbucks this morning to help me through the day.

Fully loaded

Our sleeping has continued to be wonderful!  We've only had 2 full nights of sleeping through the night, but the others are only a once awake to eat and then back asleep.  And its been 3:30-4:30ish that she's waking, so I still get a nice long stretch of sleep.

Now that she's going longer at night, I'm stuck with a problem.  My full, leaky boobs.  I know that my body will adjust, I just have to give it time.  After all, its spent the past 23 weeks feeding around the clock.  I also have the problem that its not so convenient to pump at home.  There isn't a comfortable place to do it.  I'm also not interested in getting up earlier to pump, but if I need to I will.  I thought one side of me was going to explode before this mornings pumping session. I either need to feed from both sides (which she doesn't usually do), or pump it out because that was NOT pleasant. 

But, I think we've found our night time groove.  Between 6 and 7 she gets a big bowl of cereal.  (5 tablespoons.  6 is usually too much, but if she's still interested, we mix one more up).  Some nights we go straight to the bath.  Now that I've taken out the newborn sling, her legs sink into the water and she loves to splash them around.  We get lotioned up and into our jammies.  We cuddle for a while, then its time for milk.  She can usually dose off feeding (which I know is not a healthy habit, but right now it works, so I'm not changing it).  Lately I've been laying her in her crib till we are ready to go to bed ourselves and then I will transfer her upstairs to be close to us.  I'm just not ready to leave her downstairs yet.  There are still a few times she needs a paci placed, and I'm not wandering all the way downstairs to do that.  She will be down there soon enough.  I don't want to rush this little time we have left.

Its all going so quickly. 

Knock on Wood

Last night was the night.  The very first night Abby slept through the night.  (There was an instance a few weeks ago, that she did it, but I was holding her most of the night, or she was sleeping with us, so Gene says that doesn't count). 

But last night, she went to bed at 8 and didn't wake up till 6.  Even at 6, I fed her and she went right back to sleep while I got ready for work.  If we could push that till 7, that would great, but right now I'm just thankful we got through one night.  For the past few nights, she's only woken up once, so this isn't a abrupt transition.

I did wake up around 4:30 in a panic.  I didn't go check on her, I told myself she was fine and to let her be.  After stirring for a hour, I finally did check and of course she was fine. 

She has really adapted to sleeping on her side.  They may be the trick, in combo with the full cereal belly.  She can't kick her legs around and distract herself as much on her side.  Since I know she can roll back if she needs or wants to, I'm not worried.  This also help the pacifier stay in better.  It gets stopped by the mattress, so there isn't as much give when she tries to spit it out.

Knock on wood that this is a continuing trend. I'm hoping we've found a routine, one that works for all of us.  I've been sleep deprived for so long, I'm not sure what I'm going to do with all my rest.  (I didn't even wake up to go to the bathroom, that hasn't happen since early in the pregnancy!) 

Oh please let the 4 month wakeful, sicky sleep, not full tummy, sleep problems all go away!

5

Baby Girl, today you are 5 months old.  One full hand.  5 glorious months.

You were all smiles this morning.  Cooing and snuggling up to me.  You've really found your voice and you like it.  You've also discovered how to blow bubbles and make raspberries. You entertain yourself by making sounds over and over.  You'll talk to anybody that will listen.  You will also smile at anyone who looks at you.  People are always amazed on how pleasant you are.

You love your feet.  You can get your feet in your mouth now.  You find socks challenging, but you know if you grasp at them long enough, they will come off and your precious piggies will come back to you.

You love to sit at the bar and eat.  You know when you sit in the high chair that good things are coming.  You sit up like a big girl.  You devour your cereal.  You open your mouth wide and you're able to keep most of it in your mouth.  You get easily distracted while eating, but that's ok.  There is plenty of time to work on that.

You still have trouble with nights.  You are up every 3 hours for a snack.  Part of it, I think, is my fault, and I'm worried you aren't getting enough to eat.  With the addition of cereal, you are able to go a little longer, but after that, you often wake up several more times. You've also discovered that when you wake at night, you can play with your feet.  I've started to turn you on your side, so you aren't encouraged to play.  You seem to like this and sleep peacefully.  Often, when I go to check on you, you've already rolled yourself back to your back.

Speaking of rolling, you are the master now.  Last night you did it several times. Daddy even got to see it!  You are becoming Miss Independent.  You'll be up and moving in no time.  I'm not sure I am ready. You also like to sit up, athough you can't do it on your own yet.  When you are laying down, you will pull your neck up, trying to get your mid section up right.  It looks like you are doing crunches!

Spring is here and I'm hoping we will get to spend more time outdoors.  I think we will go by you and outdoor swing this weekend.  You enjoy movement and I think it would be good for all of us to get out of the house and get some fresh air.

You are still a tiny little thing.  Your 0-3 month clothes still have some room in them.  The head hole in some of the things are getting small, you don't like it at all when its snug coming over your face.  I'm still buying size 1 diapers. Although at night I think I might go up to a 2, but I'm not decided on that yet.  I can't wait for you to get a little bigger so you can start wearing all the cute 3-6 month things Nana has gotten for you.

I can't believe its been 5 months already.  Soon it will be 6 months, one half of a year. I have the picture on my desk of the first moment I saw you.  I really does seem like just yesterday. 

 

Rolling with my homies...

Its has occurred.  Although, it hasn't occurred regularly, but that doesn't mean that it still hasn't happened.  Abby can roll over.  Front to back was easy, and that has been master for a while.  But it was back to front that has had us perplexed.

She could get half way over.  Then the under arm didn't know what to do and she would get mad and just flop back.  She would try again. Kicking those legs up and over, pulling her trunk to her side, then getting frustrated and flopping back over, resulting in a meltdown of tears and cries for Mommy's help.

But the past two nights, I've watched her get all the way over on her own.  It takes time.  The legs have to have the right momentum to swing over and pull her trunk with them.  Then she has learned to wiggle her legs enough so that the under arm scoots enough out of the way for the upper arm to fall over.  Last night she finally realized that she can push up on the upper arm to free the under arm and be all the way over on her tummy.

Its an amazing sight, watching the little intricacies of development happen.  Each little step a little more progress.  Each progression rewarded with praises and smiles (from both of us).  I don't know who is prouder, her or me.

She has also mastered grasping, passing, and releasing toys. She can easily pick up a toy that she sees.  Bring it to her mouth.  Grab it with the other hand.  Pull it away from her mouth so she can see it.  Let go with hand #1.  Move it to the side of hand #2.  Then let it go when its out of sight.  It can repeated a few times before boredom overtakes her, and fussiness ensues.

She loves play.  She loves exploring new things.  She loves interaction with people.  If she's kept busy, she is happy. She's amazing and I am thoroughly amazed by her.

Its all in my head

I'm sick of winter, I'm sick of daycare, I'm sick of being SICK!

I have it again.  And this time is far worse than anything I've ever experienced.

I suffered all Easter weekend, going from one extreme to another.  One minute I would feel fine and then the next I wouldn't be able to move or breathe.  I just figured it was the same old crud and I would just have to wait out its course.

Monday though, I noticed that my one eye was redder than the other.  Not typical of a cold, and too red for my likeness for allergies.  So I left work early and headed to the minute clinic at CVS.  (I love this things, by the way.  They are so convenient.  You can just walk an and usually be seen right away.  So much faster than the doc in the box!).

She took one look at my eye and confirmed my suspicion.  Pink Eye.  Fantastic!  Then I had her check out my head, just because I was there, and I needed some relief.  The meds I was taking were not doing a thing and I was miserable.  She looked in my right ear, and gasp.  Then she looked up my nose and gasp.  Then she asked if I was coughing up flem, and when I said yes, she gasp.

It turns out I have the amalgamation of nastiness.  With my pink eye (thankfully only the left eye), I have a ear infection in my right ear, a sinus infection, bronchitis, and allergies!

Wow!

Please tell me this is the end of all of this.  I can't take much more of this cycle.  I'm on antibiotics, which hopefully will clear things up for good.  I can't help but wonder if this has been the same thing all along and it just keeps going dormant.  But Gene is also struggling. And I went to the minute clinic a month ago with the horrendous sore throat and ears, nose, and chest all check out clear at that time.

I've put a crack down on germ killing at the house.  I'm ready to end this.  I would love to be healthy for longer than 2 or 3 days.  Spring is here, so I'm hoping the warmer temps will help flush things away.  Although, it seems for me, the pollen is gonna get me no matter what.  But a change in allergy meds may help that.

I know with a baby that you are going to get sick, they are going to get sick.  Everyone is going to share things. I've heard people joke that the first year their child was in daycare was the sickest they have ever been, and now I believe them.  This is the sickest I've ever been in my adult life!