Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Fasten your seatbelts

This ride is now in motion.  We've boarded and there is no turning back. (Well, at this point you can, but I'm not really going to let myself do that). 

My favorite Aunt decided to join me for Thanksgiving which means the next treatment cycle is a go.  I'm buckled in and slowly creeping up the tracks. 

I'm doping myself everyday with a healthy dose of birth control pills to shut everything down.  It looks like we will start meds after the first of the year.  (We knew that anyway).  It will be good not to be a hormonal mess over the holidays.  It will also give me something to look forward to afterwards.  There is always that depressing down time after the holidays, when you realize all the pomp and circumstance is over and there is no fun holiday in sight for months.

I think I'll make some lemon cookies this year to honor the crazyness that this year has been.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Its time to be thankful

Its November, that time of year we all think about how thankful we are.  Yes, I have a lot to be thankful for.  I've got a great family, I've got a precious stepson,  I have a dog that goes berserk every time he sees me.  (I love it when his tail wags so hard his entire butt moves back and forth!)

And, I also have great friends.  Friends who have been there.  Friends who know what the roller coaster is like and what a wild ride it is.  I had an interesting conversation with a male friend.  Him and his wife dealt wit infertility many years ago.  (Their twins are JJ's besties.)  We were talking about a recent failed cycled.  He was apologetic that it didn't work, and he also apologized that his wife didn't tell him we were cycling again.

But, from the perspective of a person who had been there and won, he told me the worst thing I could do is let myself get wrapped up in it.  And ya know, its true.  And that's my nature.  I easily get wrapped up in things.  I can go into full on panic in warp speed.  He told me, its gonna be what its gonna be.  Just follow the doctors directions and there isn't much else you can do for it.

I left the conversation feeling a little raw, thinking he was just telling me to relax and it will happen, but he knows better.  He knows its not just gonna happen.  But in a way, it does just happen, and causing undue stress to yourself doesn't make it any easier.

That's my goal for the next cycle.  Not to get wrapped up.  Not to panic, not to worry.  It a big task, a really, really hard task for me.  But, now having gone through it all I have an idea of what to expect, so I feel better prepared.