Are you there God, its me Lisa

I hope your listening.  I would really like this to work out.  I really hope this is your plan.  I'm tired of being so strong.  It hurts. 

The waiting game has begun and I'm not very patient.  I'm trying not to over analyze every little thing.  (like those cramps the other night, or the fullness that I feel in my ute).  It feels like someone did a dance on my ovaries. I'm exhausted, but that might be from having to get up several times in the night to pee.  And not just a little, I'm talking gotta go now or its a disaster.  (Thank you Medrol!)

I feel like a weeble.  I should wear a tent, it would hide me well.  It would need to be a tent with windows because these hot flashes will need some sort of ventilation. 

I know its the anxiety.  At this point in the game, there is nothing I can do.  We just have to hope for the best.  That little Gesa and Line are snuggling in and making a home for themselves.  I wish there was a clearer picture at this point. I wish you could already tell if it worked or not, impatient much.  I've got a lot to keep my mind occupied this week, but it just seems that I can't let it go.

I'm still waiting to hear if any of the remaining embryos made it to freeze.  That might help relieve some of the anxiety.  Knowing that they could have survived this far, maybe the two with me did.  I think knowing if their are frosties will also let us know what our next steps are.  I hate to be cynical, but after all this, you learn to hope for the best but prepare for the worst.  Its just one of those things in life you can't explain to people, it just comes with the experience.