Scars

Its been one year since my Lap.  One year since they discovered I have endometriosis.  We thought that was the "ah-ha" moment.  It made perfect sense on what would have made IVF #1 fail. 

Dr. Miller was pretty impressed at the amount I had, given I had no symptoms.  It was hard to know if I had symptoms though.  How can I know if my cramps are worse then normal, of my flow is worse than normal if I don't know what everyone else experiences?  I did have a family history of it, so I was expecting to find some.  Luckily he thought he got it all and we were back on track.

But then FET #1 failed and IVF #2 failed.  The lap scars were starting to fade away but the emotional scars of failure after failure were building up. 

When we found out we were pregnant.  He called himself to congratulate us.  I thought that was the nicest gesture.  When we met with him the next week to go over the next steps, he was so proud.  We're not sure what created our miracle.  He thinks it all has to do with clearing out the endo.  But, I don't completely buy that.  We had two major failures after that.  Its possible it was a combination of things.  I'm sure it was a combination of things.  I don't want to think about how perfectly the stars needed to align to make this happen. I know we couldn't have done it without his help.

I'm loving this feeling.  I'm enjoying watching my belly grow, even the Lap scars.  Its a reminder of the journey and the road that brought me here.  My belly probably won't have any skin left on it in a few weeks because I can't stop rubbing it.  It's an amazing feeling, one that I can't believe I almost gave up hope on.