Why is the end of the ride always the scariest? You know, they always throw you for a loop right at the end. I feel like I've been tossed in a spinner. The blood work is done. Now we just wait. And I've chosen to wait till I am in the security of my home. I'm not sure why. All I have to do is think about it and I well up.
Its so hard to want something so bad. Its so hard to just not know one way or the other. Its hard to not get your hopes up, but still remain hopeful.
I've got my lucky socks on today. It was hard to plan an outfit around a pair of socks. I'm probably the only person in the world who built their outfit from the socks up. I needed some comfort today. I thought these sock would help. They are tall, so they come up to me knees. They feel soft, like a blanket. Its irrational things like this that I need to keep me from going completely irrational.
Its gonna be a long day. I hope their is joy in the end. Gene told me he loves me no matter what. We've been here before and we can get through it.
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