The giant elephant, its still there. Every now and then it burrows its bum further into my chest, taking my breath away. He usually settles in during those moments when my mind is unoccupied and I let it wander. My eyes well up and my chest gets heavy.
I'm trying to do as much research as I can before Thursday. Its hard because so much of it I don't understand and I don't want to sound ignorant. But I guess by at least asking, you are showing you know something.
Doing a lot of research is also a scary thing. I'll admit I'm not feeling optimistic that there is any plan out there that can work for us. Given the trifecta of awesomeness that we are. I believe that the medications protocol we've used it the appropriate one. We maybe can lower dosages and stim a little longer, but I'm not sure that's the issue.
I'm worried we are just a bad combo together. Bad eggs, bad sperm, not much you can do without repetitive trying and we are almost at the limit.
I know we aren't at the end of our search for a child. Adoption is, and always has been, an option. Its just incredibly hard for me to imagine never carrying a child. Wearing cute maternity clothes. Feeling the joys of childbirth. Those were the reasons I wanted to try IVF. I don't know how, and really if, I can cope with giving these things up.
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