Just Keep Swimming

I built my outfit around my socks again today.  Today, it was the nemo socks.  So I have a reminder that I just need to keep swimming. 

Its really hard to do with an elephant on your chest.  I feel pinned down. I feel heavy.  There isn't anything I can do at this point, but keep my chin up and move on.  I'm getting there.  Its just slow.

A friend commented today that I seemed to bounce back so well yesterday.  I don't feel like I did.  I just feel like I hid it well.  I'm good at hiding. I broke down when I got home.  I curled up on the couch next to Gene and just let it out. 

I don't handle death well.  I don't like the idea of never seeing someone again.  Even though the embryos never formed into fetus, I still feel like someone died.  Every time it seems to get harder to handle the mourning. The elephant just keeps getting heavier and heavier.

Aunt Flo decided not to delay her visit and came last night to join in the fun.  At least I truely know its over and not a fluke.  Its one step further to putting it in the past. 

Nemo and I will make it through the day.  We will just keep swimming.