Sleep is

Over---rated!  (Said in my best unsportsman like voice).

I've always been a sleeper.  I need my sleep.  I'm an early to bed, late to rise kind of girl.  I could lay in bed all day, if you let me.  I'm also not very fond of napping.  The conditions have to be just right for me to be able to relax enough to do it. 

With my picky behaviors, adjusting to caring for a baby has been a real shock on my system.  The first few days in the hospital weren't that bad.  I don't remember napping at all during the day, but we were up frequently at night.  I think all the hormones and the excitement had my system all jacked up.

Once we got home, it all hit, like a ton of bricks.  The first few days were really hard.  I found myself drifting off during feedings.  I was scared to fall asleep with her with me, worried something would happen to her.  If I did drift off, I usually woke up shocked, which then would startle Abby.

It was easy being at home and being able to rest during the day.  Abby isn't a great napper either.  She wanted to be held most of the time.  Again, not quite the perfect situation to allow Mommy to nap, but I was happy to at least be off my feet and snuggling. 

Night feedings became easier.  It seemed like I was adjusting well to being awoken every 2 hours. 

Now that I'm back at work, I'm having a hard time adjusting to the new normal.  I don't have the luxury anymore of spending the afternoon with my feet up, watching daytime TV.  I do have plenty of desk time, but its also paired with plenty of time on my feet.  But by the end of the day, I'm exhausted.

Thankfully Abby has regulated herself to an early bedtime.  Usually between 8 and 9, more toward the 8 she is ready to be put down. That gives me time to get tucked in too.  She usually gets one good 4-5 hour stretch to start, so if I want any period of long sleep, I have to go to bed when she does.  Which doesn't bother me, I need it. 

Her late night feedings are still sporadic.  Sometimes she wakes up every 2 hours, sometimes every 3.  Sometimes she eats for 5 minutes, sometimes for 15.  The good thing is, she goes right back to bed when she's full.  And I go right back to sleep as well. 

I've also noticed that I've become the worlds lightest sleeper.  I use to be able to sleep through ANYTHING!  Not anymore.  My ears perk up at any little whimper from the pack and play.  I've had to teach myself not to jump up and grab her at the first peep.  Sometimes she just whimpers and falls back to sleep on her own.  Sometimes, if it hasn't been that long since her last feeding, I'll just slip the pacifier back into her mouth and she'll doze off again.  Gene used to comment on how great of a night she must of had, but then he learned that he'd slept through most of it.  There are only a few times that her crying has been such to wake him.  Those are usually diaper changes before she gets to eat and she's pissed off at me for making her wait. 

I think lack of sleep was my biggest fear and concern about being a new mom.  Its not as bad as I thought it would be.  I think I've adapted myself fairly well.  And Gene has done a great job at helping. I know this too shall pass.