Its come to light that part of JJ's problem with the transition with Abby is he's jealous of all the time I spend with her, and not him. And I certainly don't ignore him, or not include him in things, but I can see how to a child, who doesn't understand about caring for a baby, it would seem like he's getting the shaft.
We've picked up on little comments here and there. Like "Lisa doesn't go anywhere without Abby". Of course I don't. She's breastfeed on demand. And I have a very small freezer stash of milk. I'm terrified to leave her because I'm afraid she's going to get hungry and there won't be anything to do about it. It always seems that when I do leave milk for her, she doesn't eat it, or I leave too much, and then I'm trying to figure out when to give it to her before it goes bad, all while trying to not miss a breast session, so I'm trying to coordinate pumping instead. Its just a nasty cycle that I would rather not stress out.
But upon learning that it distress JJ that much, I'm trying to do better and do things, just the two of us.
This weekend he asked me if we could go to the mall. Yes, he ASKED to go shopping! He's hit the tween phase and his appearance is becoming important to him. He wanted to go to Hollister and Aeropostale. He couldn't wait to go Saturday morning. Again, its not so easy to just leave an infant, but I tried not to overplay my stress, and I kept giving JJ a timeline so he would know what was going on.
Our mall is super tiny, but its got enough things in it to keep a person happy. JJ knew exactly where the stores were and where we should park. We headed in to Hollister first and started to look around. We wandered around the racks of mens clothes. Since he never asks to do this and feeling guilty for making him feel upset, there was no budget for this trip. If he wanted it, he could have it. He was hesitant to say what he liked, and what he wanted. But, he warmed up and started picking things out. We discussed colors and styles. He made a few choices and then we checked out. We headed over to Aeropostale to see what they had. This time it was a little easier for him to pick out things. Most of the shirts were buy one get one, so he enjoyed getting to select two styles. Again, we discussed colors. I wanted to make sure he didn't end up with all one color shirts. I could tell what colors he really liked. Once we had an arm full, we checked out and headed to the car.
He was so excited about all his new things, that he wanted to put them on as soon as we got to the car. But first he wanted to make sure it was ok to mix and match stores. I told him I didn't see a problem with that, and if anyone did, it shouldn't matter. He's creating his own style and he should be proud.
He planned out which shirts he would wear for the rest of the weekend. One in particular has become his favorite. Its a hot pink aeropostale shirt. He wore it for a while Saturday and Sunday. He wore it to school this morning, but first he had to spray it with fabreeze. He said it didn't smell, but he wanted it to be fresh.
I can't believe he's getting so grown up. He thanked me many times for our shopping trip. We've done errands together, but we've never shopped together. It was a fun experience for both of us. I'm trying to think of other things just the two of us can do. I know it will get easier with Abby as she gets older.
Its an adjustment for all of us, but hopefully we will all keep happy in the long run.
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