Gone

The freezer stash of breast milk is gone.  There wasn't much there to begin with, and it was going to expire, so I used it.  (I also forgot to put up what I pumped yesterday, so it worked out, I guess).

I've enjoyed breastfeeding, but I haven't loved it.  Sure, its convenient, and I think that's why I've kept doing it, even though I know I have a low supply.  Its just so nice to pop the boob in her mouth in the middle of the night.  I think that's the only reason that's keeping me doing it.

She's getting a 50/50 mix at daycare right now.  And that's stretching my 50.  Somedays its 60/40, some even 70/30.  She doesn't care what she gets, or how she gets it.  She loves to eat.  She doesn't complain. Although when I give her a bottle, she tries to root around at my boob.

We've started solids.  She loves the oatmeal and rice.  We've also tried sweet potatoes, apples, and squash.  She's loved them all.  I've mixed them in with the oatmeal.  She did better with a thicker texture.  I love seeing her face when she gets a new flavor in her mouth.  She can put away some cereal.  Most of the time I start her with 4 tablespoons, if I'm going to mix it with purees (which is half a container).  Sometimes she wants 5 tablespoons.  One night she ate 6 and an entire container of sweet potatoes!  The pedi said she could have as much as she wanted, so that's what we are doing.  I'm just glad to see her put a little meat on her bones.

I feel guilty that she might be small because she's never gotten enough milk.  That's always been a concern of mine, but the lacation consultants have not been concerned and her weighed feedings have always been good.  I've tried to believe in that, but at times, especially when she cluster fed, it was very hard.

She goes back to the doctor for her 6 month check up in two weeks.  I can't wait to see how much she's grown.  I know she's still petite, but I've noticed a big change in her size lately.  Her little legs look so chunky now. 

Its also time, I guess, to look into weaning.  It would be nice to continue to breastfeed while I'm at home (mornings and evenings), and just suppliment formula during the day, but I don't know if or how that will work.  I'm so over pumping at work.  I love the break, but its such a pain to be tied to the pump every 3 hours. Especially when I'm only pumping out 2 ounces at a time!  I feel no satisifaction from pumping.

I hadn't really set any goals for breast feeding.  I didn't know what to expect, so I just went with it. I guess that helps make the transition easier.  I'm sure when its all over with, I'll miss it.