Hope

It's been a year.  A year since I was wheeled back to the sterile environment that I thought was the answer to my prayers.  A year since I looked at two perfect embryos and thought all was possible in the world.  If you asked me that day, I would have told you in a year I would be holding my baby.

I might not be holding one in my arms, but I'm extremely thankful to be growing one, and knowing there is a definite time when  I will hold one.

A friend (also struggled with infertility) told me a story about a college friend of hers that was recently told that she wouldn't be able to carry a child.  She has several serious medical conditions and its in her best interest not to go through the process of childbirth.  They also have told her even egg retrieval could be too much for her.  My friend was devastated over the news.  She asked me how or if we would ever get over the feelings of infertility. 

I told her I didn't think we ever would.  After all we've been through, you can't ever get over that.  But I told her the best thing she can do for her friend is give her hope.  You can never give up.  Had I given up a year ago, I probably wouldn't be pregnant right now.  Hope and persistence can and will get you through.

I'm also extremely thankful that my wonderful doctors and nurses also never gave up hope on me.  I was never told it was never going to happen.  I know to me it felt like it never would, but I appreciate their patience and determination to figure it out.  Every single time things failed, they just carried on with a positive attitude. All I needed was that thread of hope.