Cold Turkey

3 weeks ago I quit cold turkey.

I stopped taking the anxiety meds.

I felt it was time.

I originally started taking them becuase I was a ball of nerves over a new "surprise" pregnancy. I asked about coming off when I thought the newness had worn off, but I was encouraged to stay. Point taken, I did. Then I asked post partum about coming off. I was encouraged again to continue on them because of hormonal shifts. Point taken, I did.

But I felt like it was time. Things have mellowed out. I stopped breastfeeding 3 months ago. I gave it time for those hormones to balance out. I don't feel anxious about child rearing. We aren't having difficulties with anything. I didn't feel like I needed that crutch anymore. I felt like I had become void of emotions. Things should have made me sad, and although I felt sad, I didn't feel SAD. I felt like an unemotional robot.

I know I should have called the doctor, but I didn't want to be enouraged to take them anymore. Sure, I could have explained my reasoning, or found another doctor. But I didn't want to do any of those. I just wanted to see how it would go.

And its been great. I feel so much better. I feel like I have emotions. It just feels good to feel like me again.

And hopefully, some of those lingers Lb's from the pregnancy will go away too. I don't really care if they do or don't, but I can maybe hope.