Gene and I were at an event Saturday night. A friend of ours came up to talk to us. We are in several circles together, we see each other often, we've even vacationed together. But, we aren't BFF's, but good friends.
He, of course, thinks Abby is an angel. And asks about her all the time. So he asked when we were going to have another one. I tell him we seem kinda busy with the two that we have. He then tries to say that doesn't count. Abby needs a sibling. And I tell him, she has one.
And then he says it...
You need to have another biological child.
***record screeches***
Excuse me?
I look at Gene and he is just as dumbfounded as me. So he can see I'm upset. That this man thinks that Joejee isn't MY son. So Gene tries to smooth things over and he repeats the same thing to Gene.
WTF!
Just because Joejee isn't genetically Gene's, he is still his son 100%. And this educated douchebag should know better.
But wait.. it gets better.
So then he starts joking with us say, "It wasn't that bad was it?" Suggesting maybe my reasoning for not bearing more children was related to Abby being a bad baby.
At that point Gene walked away. Making an excuse for something. Just to get away. I needed to too.
No, Abby was not a terrible baby. But getting there was a terrible experience. One I'm not willing to do again. Or even get on and "see what happens". And there are several other reasons on why we are choosing not to have more. And it's none of anyones business.
I know his wife would be appalled if she knew what she said. She couldn't have biological children herself. They went down the fertility road, but never went past the front gate because it was decided that her step children were enough for her. I know this because she's shared it openly with a group of women years ago.
Not many friends know of our struggles, and that's something that will change as time goes on. Those wounds are healing, so I'm getting more comfortable with sharing. But it still hurts to be reminded of it.
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