Today is the one year anniversary of the day I found out I was pregnant. Its been 365 days since I became a mother.
Its a day I'll never forget. That agonizing feeling on whether or not I should take a test. That pit in my stomach when I did, and then drop I felt when the positive line appeared before the control. That shaking fear/excitement I had as I woke Gene up. Then, as he held me tight as the thought sunk in. Its hard to believe that a year has already passed.
This morning I woke up to a happy, smiling baby. (Who quite possibly could be going through the 4 month wakeful period right now, because we were up several times last night!). But, nonetheless, she was so precious to see this morning. Her warm cheek snuggling the crook in my neck. The bright smile she gives when she finally opens her eyes and sees its me that's holding her. Its all unimaginable.
I thank god every day for this opportunity.
Friday, March 15, 2013
Monday, March 11, 2013
You Evil Bug You!
So the pediatrician said it was probably just the start of her getting the nasty crud going around. He confirmed instantly that it wasn't her ears, and she wasn't teething. I guess my mothering instincts were right, because I didn't believe it was either of those.
Yes, she has been rubbing her ears, but she does that when she's tired. She just needs to be removed of stimulation and soothed to sleep and she will be fine.
Yes, I do think that she might be getting teeth, but I don't think its time yet. He assured me that with a fever that high, that its not teething.
He did do a finger stick to check her CBC. That came back normal. That ruled out a mysterious infection. The last thing he wanted to check was her urine. He didn't suspect a UTI, but he just wanted to make sure. And just as suspected, that was negative too. Although someone traumatic, more the betadine and alcohol than the cath itself.
So, with advice to give Tylenol as needed, we went home to weather the weekend.
She still slept awful Friday and Saturday nights. My philosophy was bad sleep was better than no sleep, so co-sleeping it was. She wouldn't dare have it any other way. Thankfully, last night she was able to lay in her own bed with no problems. (well, except for the paci kept falling out).
The fever broke on Saturday and she was back to her little perky self. She took two good naps yesterday and went to bed without problems. She's not showing any signs of further cold symptoms. I don't know if she will or not. She gets a crusty nose every now and then, and the occasionally snot bubble.
She was happy to go back to daycare today. Life returns to normal. I hope all future illnesses are this easy (or at least now I know what to do, so that makes it easier, right?!?!)
Yes, she has been rubbing her ears, but she does that when she's tired. She just needs to be removed of stimulation and soothed to sleep and she will be fine.
Yes, I do think that she might be getting teeth, but I don't think its time yet. He assured me that with a fever that high, that its not teething.
He did do a finger stick to check her CBC. That came back normal. That ruled out a mysterious infection. The last thing he wanted to check was her urine. He didn't suspect a UTI, but he just wanted to make sure. And just as suspected, that was negative too. Although someone traumatic, more the betadine and alcohol than the cath itself.
So, with advice to give Tylenol as needed, we went home to weather the weekend.
She still slept awful Friday and Saturday nights. My philosophy was bad sleep was better than no sleep, so co-sleeping it was. She wouldn't dare have it any other way. Thankfully, last night she was able to lay in her own bed with no problems. (well, except for the paci kept falling out).
The fever broke on Saturday and she was back to her little perky self. She took two good naps yesterday and went to bed without problems. She's not showing any signs of further cold symptoms. I don't know if she will or not. She gets a crusty nose every now and then, and the occasionally snot bubble.
She was happy to go back to daycare today. Life returns to normal. I hope all future illnesses are this easy (or at least now I know what to do, so that makes it easier, right?!?!)
Friday, March 8, 2013
I can tell by the look in your eyes
My mother used to be able to tell when I wasn't feeling well because she could tell by the look in my eyes. I'm not one for sympathy, or coddling, so I never outwardly expressed when I didn't feel well, unless I really didn't feel well.
Now I understand what she means. I can see it in Abby's eyes. Those big bluish grey eyes, looking at me, deep into me, going straight to my heart.
She's currently running a fever. Yesterday afternoon is was 101, its still close to that this morning. She's not her perky self, although she's still smiling. Her little cries are pathetic. More like whimpers. She just wants to be held and snuggled.
I don't know what it is. The daycare thinks its just teething. But they say she's been tugging on her ear. I called as soon as I could this morning and got her an appointment with the pediatrician. I hope its not her ears. I really hope its nothing, but I know with a fever like that, it can't be.
I know this isn't the last time she will be sick, but it breaks my heart to see her uncomfortable. Although I do love the baby snuggles, I would rather snuggle with a happy baby than a sick one.
Now I understand what she means. I can see it in Abby's eyes. Those big bluish grey eyes, looking at me, deep into me, going straight to my heart.
She's currently running a fever. Yesterday afternoon is was 101, its still close to that this morning. She's not her perky self, although she's still smiling. Her little cries are pathetic. More like whimpers. She just wants to be held and snuggled.
I don't know what it is. The daycare thinks its just teething. But they say she's been tugging on her ear. I called as soon as I could this morning and got her an appointment with the pediatrician. I hope its not her ears. I really hope its nothing, but I know with a fever like that, it can't be.
I know this isn't the last time she will be sick, but it breaks my heart to see her uncomfortable. Although I do love the baby snuggles, I would rather snuggle with a happy baby than a sick one.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Proud Mama
This morning, JJ was inducted in the Jr. Beta Club. This is a service club/honor society. It has strict rules regarding grades and behavior. We were excited that JJ was invited to participate. We hope this can be a motivation for him to keep his behavior in check and stop acting out.
The students were asked to dress in their Sunday best. JJ was excited to wear his sport coat and tie to school. He even wanted to continue to wear it through out the day. He looked so dapper. He really is becoming a little man.
After the ceremony was over, the parents had a chance to take some photos. JJ wasn't really willing to get photos with his parents, but I managed to get him to smile long enough to get at least one. We then realized what he really wanted to do. He wanted his photo taken with the club president. A really cute brunette, upperclassman! Way to go JJ. I think we are about to have our hands full.
We made sure that this moment was about JJ. Everyone asked me where Abby was. I had decided that she would get dropped at daycare before we took him to school this morning. For one, I didn't want her to interrupt things. And two, I really wanted JJ to be the focus. He needed to see that we recognized his efforts and that the focus from us (and everyone else there) was on him, not her. I hope that he had the insight to see this. He might not right now, but hopefully someday. For know, we just get to enjoy having a kid in the smarty pants club!
The students were asked to dress in their Sunday best. JJ was excited to wear his sport coat and tie to school. He even wanted to continue to wear it through out the day. He looked so dapper. He really is becoming a little man.
After the ceremony was over, the parents had a chance to take some photos. JJ wasn't really willing to get photos with his parents, but I managed to get him to smile long enough to get at least one. We then realized what he really wanted to do. He wanted his photo taken with the club president. A really cute brunette, upperclassman! Way to go JJ. I think we are about to have our hands full.
We made sure that this moment was about JJ. Everyone asked me where Abby was. I had decided that she would get dropped at daycare before we took him to school this morning. For one, I didn't want her to interrupt things. And two, I really wanted JJ to be the focus. He needed to see that we recognized his efforts and that the focus from us (and everyone else there) was on him, not her. I hope that he had the insight to see this. He might not right now, but hopefully someday. For know, we just get to enjoy having a kid in the smarty pants club!
4-5-11
I should have written this post yesterday, but I forgot till I was on the way home, and then it was too late. So, its a day late.
Yesterday was/is a special day for our family. March 6, is JJ's other special day. It was the day he came to America, and began his new life with his forever family. Its like a second birthday to him, but no presents. We celebrate with love and affection and a reminder that hes so important to us.
Because of school and activities, its harder to plan celebrations, so Friday will be let him choose somewhere to go out to eat to celebrate. We will celebrate 11 years this year.
That day is also important to our family. That is the day that we took the step to secure our bond forever. March 6, 2008 is the day Gene and I became engaged. I can't believe I've been wearing that beautiful ring on my finger for 5 years now. It really has gone by fast. To look back at those pictures and see how much JJ has changed. How he's not the little boy anymore, but the little man. I feel honored that Gene chose such and important day in his life to share with me. I'm not sure Gene really thought much into the symbolism when he chose that day. For me, it was the moment that two became three.
Now we have 4. A sweet little thing that's 4 months old already! She's quite the happy baby. She loves to smile and "talk" to you. Don't get her wrong though, she can through a hissy fit better than her mama. She's learning to voice her opinions, and she's quite stubborn about it. She's learning to pull herself toward a sitting position. She wants to be upright so she can swivel that little head around and see what's going on. Just like her mom and dad, watching people wherever she goes.
She can grab things now. She's not afraid to grab a chunk of my hair. She doesn't pull yet, she just holds on. She has learned to pick up toys and move them around. I'm still not certain the movements are deliberate because it always seems that the toy ends up far away from her, for which she gets upset about.
She has learned to love the pacifier. It still has trouble staying in her mouth sometimes, but she's learning how to grab it. Soon I think she will be able to put it back in. She often sleeps with one and she will let you know if she has awoken and its not in her mouth. Thankfully, most of the time she can doze right back off once you get in her mouth.
I'm amazed by our little family. We've come a long way. We are unique and I'm proud of that. I think this calls for a toast.... lemonade anyone?
Yesterday was/is a special day for our family. March 6, is JJ's other special day. It was the day he came to America, and began his new life with his forever family. Its like a second birthday to him, but no presents. We celebrate with love and affection and a reminder that hes so important to us.
Because of school and activities, its harder to plan celebrations, so Friday will be let him choose somewhere to go out to eat to celebrate. We will celebrate 11 years this year.
That day is also important to our family. That is the day that we took the step to secure our bond forever. March 6, 2008 is the day Gene and I became engaged. I can't believe I've been wearing that beautiful ring on my finger for 5 years now. It really has gone by fast. To look back at those pictures and see how much JJ has changed. How he's not the little boy anymore, but the little man. I feel honored that Gene chose such and important day in his life to share with me. I'm not sure Gene really thought much into the symbolism when he chose that day. For me, it was the moment that two became three.
Now we have 4. A sweet little thing that's 4 months old already! She's quite the happy baby. She loves to smile and "talk" to you. Don't get her wrong though, she can through a hissy fit better than her mama. She's learning to voice her opinions, and she's quite stubborn about it. She's learning to pull herself toward a sitting position. She wants to be upright so she can swivel that little head around and see what's going on. Just like her mom and dad, watching people wherever she goes.
She can grab things now. She's not afraid to grab a chunk of my hair. She doesn't pull yet, she just holds on. She has learned to pick up toys and move them around. I'm still not certain the movements are deliberate because it always seems that the toy ends up far away from her, for which she gets upset about.
She has learned to love the pacifier. It still has trouble staying in her mouth sometimes, but she's learning how to grab it. Soon I think she will be able to put it back in. She often sleeps with one and she will let you know if she has awoken and its not in her mouth. Thankfully, most of the time she can doze right back off once you get in her mouth.
I'm amazed by our little family. We've come a long way. We are unique and I'm proud of that. I think this calls for a toast.... lemonade anyone?
Monday, March 4, 2013
You're a Good Woman
I can imagine for many its hard to understand our modern family. But for me, I know no different. And I entered into this situation on my own free will, knowing all the strings that came attached.
Yes, there are times I don't like it. Like, for instances, after a long day at work and I come home to find the white GMC SUV is still in the driveway, thus signalling that pick up is still in progress. This was particularly hard during those darkest IFV days when all I wanted to do was crawl into bed in cry. Now its hard because all I want to do is take my baby into my arms and snuggle alone with her, but I have to "share" her for the moment.
The modern family sat together at church this weekend. JJ's mom doesn't attend our church (anymore), but JJ's attending a confirmation class before Sunday service and she decided to stay for service afterward. So it was quite the pew full. This isn't the first time we've all done this, and it won't be the last, but it was the first for no special reason. (Not a holiday, or the children doing something special). We share our usual row with the sweetest elderly woman. After church she found me in the nursery to see Abby and she told me that I was a "good woman". She was curious to know what brought about today's visitation. Nothing particular I told her, that's just our life.
I don't think of myself as a good woman. The separation was amicable. There is no hard feelings between them. They have each moved on with their lives. We are connected by one thing. One special thing that doesn't deserve to know anything but happiness. And its my job to make sure he gets nothing but that.
Yes, there are times I don't like it. Like, for instances, after a long day at work and I come home to find the white GMC SUV is still in the driveway, thus signalling that pick up is still in progress. This was particularly hard during those darkest IFV days when all I wanted to do was crawl into bed in cry. Now its hard because all I want to do is take my baby into my arms and snuggle alone with her, but I have to "share" her for the moment.
The modern family sat together at church this weekend. JJ's mom doesn't attend our church (anymore), but JJ's attending a confirmation class before Sunday service and she decided to stay for service afterward. So it was quite the pew full. This isn't the first time we've all done this, and it won't be the last, but it was the first for no special reason. (Not a holiday, or the children doing something special). We share our usual row with the sweetest elderly woman. After church she found me in the nursery to see Abby and she told me that I was a "good woman". She was curious to know what brought about today's visitation. Nothing particular I told her, that's just our life.
I don't think of myself as a good woman. The separation was amicable. There is no hard feelings between them. They have each moved on with their lives. We are connected by one thing. One special thing that doesn't deserve to know anything but happiness. And its my job to make sure he gets nothing but that.
Friday, March 1, 2013
It might kill me, but it makes her happy
Daycare is gonna kill me. I can already feel it. This sickness needs to go away. And STAY AWAY! (I know that's not going to happen, but I can hope).
Most people were surprised that Abby goes to daycare. As opposed to having a family member watch her at home. But I feel that daycare is a good things for her. For the social her. She seems to really enjoy people and groups. She loves to watch her surroundings (She gets that from both Gene and I). Just last night I carried her in the Moby at the grocery store, hoping she would fall asleep as soon as we started walking around, but she didn't. She stayed alert the whole time, looking around. Smiling at everyone who would talk to her. (And no old lady, she is not huge for a 3 1/2 month old. If you actually saw her out of the wrap, she is rather small!)
I'm glad she has some place to go everyday to interact with other people and things. As her mental development grows, she will learn a lot from having other children to interact with. I think not being the center of attention all day as helped her learn to soothe herself better. And, that may just be a skill learned with age and not surroundings, but I probably do have a tendency to jump on her every whimper.
Of course I would love to be at home with her, but I think this is the best arrangement. Its hard to leave her in the mornings, but she's always so happy to be there. And, at the end of the day, when I show up to pick her up, she has that same big smile on her face when she sees me.
Most people were surprised that Abby goes to daycare. As opposed to having a family member watch her at home. But I feel that daycare is a good things for her. For the social her. She seems to really enjoy people and groups. She loves to watch her surroundings (She gets that from both Gene and I). Just last night I carried her in the Moby at the grocery store, hoping she would fall asleep as soon as we started walking around, but she didn't. She stayed alert the whole time, looking around. Smiling at everyone who would talk to her. (And no old lady, she is not huge for a 3 1/2 month old. If you actually saw her out of the wrap, she is rather small!)
I'm glad she has some place to go everyday to interact with other people and things. As her mental development grows, she will learn a lot from having other children to interact with. I think not being the center of attention all day as helped her learn to soothe herself better. And, that may just be a skill learned with age and not surroundings, but I probably do have a tendency to jump on her every whimper.
Of course I would love to be at home with her, but I think this is the best arrangement. Its hard to leave her in the mornings, but she's always so happy to be there. And, at the end of the day, when I show up to pick her up, she has that same big smile on her face when she sees me.
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