That smell

I associate things with certain smells.  Smells bring back memories.  Perfumes, deodorants, cleaners. 

I'm fortunate enough that I can walk over to my OB's office. Its a floor below the RE's office actually.  So, just a short walk through the halls gets me there in under 5 minutes. 

There is one point where the hospital changes into the medical office building and at that point the smell changes.  Its a smell I will always associate with this journey.  It has that medicinal smell, but not overwhelming.  Its nothing spectacular, but I have always been able to tell a difference once I get to that hallway. 

Lately I have to remind myself that the smell is bringing comforting feelings.  The number of times I anxiously walked over there not knowing what I was going to hear.  I'm still anxious, but it a totally different way. 

After my appointment yesterday I went upstairs to visit the IVF nurse.  I didn't want to make a big scene.  I know pregnant ladies in the office always felt like a dagger to me.  But Megan did so much for me and was so excited, I wanted to show her the newest photos of Olive and share the news.  She was happy to see me and see my progress.  Its just comforting to know that I received quality care and that I was really felt for. 

As I walked back to work, gleaming at the beautiful photos of my daughter I didn't get wrapped up in the smell.  I passed through with ease.  I guess every time will get a little easier.